Drinking From the Same Lemonade Stand

I keep my expenses low and pay off debt.

Some don’t.

Does that make me better than them? No. Lately I have been trying to not judge others too harshly on their personal decisions because they are just that, their personal decisions. I can try and explain to my friends and peers the benefits of my financial lifestyle, but at the end of the day, I need to be okay with them choosing their own way. And I also need to be okay with them judging me for my ways as well.

9 Months Away From Debt Freedom!

I borrowed 68k in August of 2007, started repayment in December of 2009, and will make my final payment in December of 2016. How much will I have paid in those approximate 7 years you ask? $113k. Yep. That’s 45k more than I borrowed. The scary part is, so many graduates are in the same boat I am, but they do not do the math to figure out the numbers of how upside down they are. They simply pay their minimums each month for years on end without actually seeing just how much they are paying the lender. I know 45k is bad, but trust me, there are friends in my circle alone who are already at that total with 15+ years to go.

I Was Featured on CNN Money!

"4 Steps to Paying off Your Student Loans,
from Someone Who Crushed $100,000"

After connecting on Twitter, a CNN Money reporter reached out to me via email and asked for an interview. At first I thought the email must have been spam. It wasn't. So of course I said yes.

The phone conversations and emails that transpired woke me up to just how much I have paid off. Not that it didn't sink in before, but saying my financial story aloud from the very beginning to present day was quite the humbling experience.

I started this blog in 2010 and was so... ashamed isn't the correct word... sad. Sad about the amount of debt I had and therefor did not want anyone to know my feelings about it. After all, many of my friends had the same situation going on, but for whatever reason, no one spoke up about it other than the occasional griping over hefty monthly payments. I needed an outlet. So I created this blog. I had no idea that 6 years later it would land me on the front page of the personal finance section of CNN Money. But I am glad it did. Now that I am out of the woods, I am okay with everyone knowing this blog, and all of these words, are mine. The encouragement I received after the article published was simply unexpected and overwhelming.

I do not have a business set up where I charge people for financial advice. The article does not lead you to a website where a company I created can help you. It leads you here, to this blog; it is simply my story. And Katie Lobosco, the reporter, broke all of my ramblings into 4 simple steps. Those simple steps are what got me to where I am, and I hope that others can follow suit from that. I have spent several hours with several different friends in the last 2-3 years quietly helping them create their debt pay-off plans and budgets. I have no idea what the future holds for me, career wise. It could be staying in corporate sales, singing/songwriting, music business, or it could be becoming a CFP and starting my own company; I just don't know yet. All of that to say, right now I am simply focused on the next 5 months of getting these loans out of my present day life.

If you would like to give it a read, you can find the article here.

The First Real Mistake I Ever Made

The sky was the limit and the world was my oyster. I was going to be a star. A country star. And country stars belong in Nashville, Tennessee.

However, I was not going to be one that signed a horrible record contract that I would spend my adult years trying to get out of. I was going to be smart by getting my education at Belmont University. No one will be able to take advantage of me because I will 100% know better. Music business here I come.

I didn’t let things like a 8-9% interest rate on a loan stop me because “you can always refinance when you graduate.” I learned the hard way that was indeed not true. I had made my first mistake before ever even stepping foot into the alluring spotlight of the music business. I made my first faulty steps by entering into a life altering contract with Sallie Mae. The worst part about it was that I didn’t realize I had made this grave mistake until about a year or two after I graduated.  Who knew my ‘be an educated artist’ plan would get derailed from a school loan long before a record contact was even visible? They did. Sallie Mae sees people like me coming every day. They capitalize on those people. And I don’t blame them. It was a bad decision on my part. Period.

Fast forward approximately 10 years and I am almost done paying that demon off. But you know what I lost in the meantime? That hypothetical record contract I so longed for as a young adult. I am still young, technically; I am 29. I was so screwed over by my first mistake with college loans that I could not concentrate on how not to make another mistake in the music industry. All I could think about after graduation and the years to follow was how in the world I was going to right this financial wrong of mine. So in essence, that first business mistake robbed me of my chance at not making the mistake I was trying to avoid by learning the business side of the industry. Pretty ironic if you ask me. Maybe saying Belmont is the reason I didn’t get a record contract is an excuse. There are so many country artists and songwriters who have ‘made it’ by doing whatever it takes. And whatever it takes most times means getting your car repossessed, defaulting on loans, and borrowing money from your family. I just couldn’t do that. I could not make that sacrifice. When advised that I should choose between my dream and my credit score, I picked the latter. I picked not defaulting on my loans, keeping my car, and leaving my parents and relatives out of my financial mess. I chose the safe road.

So here I am, 6 months away from closing my student loan chapter and about 7 years late on opening my music business chapter. There are outliers, but for the most part, music professionals will tell you that your window of record contract opportunity becomes exponentially smaller once you surpass the age of 25. And about 10 times harder if you are a female.

So that’s great news given I am a 29 year old female.

I am very aware these loans were my decision. A decision that haunts and taunts me daily. I got a brief taste of the industry I so love right after college and then before I knew it, I was ripped out to work in boring corporate America with my business degree so that I could afford my new ‘welcome to adulthood’ loan payments. I have hustled by working 2 jobs and budgeted unlike anyone I know. Did I have to pay off my loans 15 years early? No. But I was so incredibly infuriated by them that I needed them gone.

I have many friends who are still in the music industry, and for the most part, they love what they do every day. I don’t know many success stories of singers who have ‘made it’ quite just yet, but the majority of my college friends stuck with music. However, they are also all still stuck with their loans and very much so living paycheck to paycheck. Perhaps there was a better path for us to have taken back then that didn’t include college. Perhaps there is a better path now that we could be taking. Who knows, but what I have learned from all of this is that there is indeed such a thing as not being able to afford it. And although college is something that has been programmed into us as a necessity, there are other routes to explore that may not have college in it.

I do not regret my decision. I learned and experienced things at Belmont that will stick with me forever. However, to all who are reading this, I urge you to look for any and all possible paths before signing your freedom away to attend the college you think you “just have to go to.” I promise, there will be people around you who are successful that don’t have a minute of their time or a dime invested in a university; and there will be successful people around you who seem to be in a perpetual state of higher education. If you think you have the drive, determination, and the entrepreneurship to at least attempt your dream without the textbooks and professors, by all means, you owe it to yourself to try and blaze that trail. If the security of a degree is something you know you will need in order to stay sane, do it. But take it from me, (Ivy leagues aside) there is no real difference in having your degree come from an expensive private Christian university versus an affordable public university.

If you are just finishing high school and determining where you want to continue your education, please consider your choices very carefully, and don’t listen to the lenders and school advisers who will tell you and your parents how easy the repayment will be upon graduation; they cannot guarantee a thing. I made a mistake, and it took me a while to come to terms with that. How did I get to a place of acceptance and forgiveness? I learned from it. I learned to do the best I could in my situation, and try my very hardest to not have regret. The past could not be changed so I figured out how to make lemonade from my lemons. My hope is that if you are in a similar situation, you will try to find the positive, too. Fix the mistake with intention and grow from it.

Another Grand Bites the Dust

I put down $1,000 today towards my student loans and it got me thinking that I haven’t updated you fine folks on the numbers in a couple of months. Here is where I am at:

As I stated back in March, I was able to get a consolidation (praise!) and my new outstanding loan total that I financed was 43K. As of today, my total balance is around 36K. I have paid off approximately 7K since the beginning of April.

For those of you following me since my first “holy smokes I am in some deep water and am about to drown” realization back in 2010 (73k in the hole), then to my “okay, I am pissed about this debt and I am about to tackle it” phase in 2013 (79K in the hole):

I HAVE PUT DOWN 54 THOUSAND DOLLARS 

IN A MATTER OF 28 MONTHS.

(About 43K being principal, the other 11K being ridiculous interest)

I say this not to brag. I say this to motivate you. I say this to say that If I can, you can. Get mad. Get motivated. Get started!

You don’t have to have a consolidation to win with this. You can tackle this on your own without a consolidation; yes, it may cost you a bit more if your interest is high like mine was, but if that is the case, keep trying to consolidate in the background, but move! move! move! at all times on extra payments. Paying down that smallest debt first needs to be your priority.

All that motivation aside, allow me to get real with you for a moment. There is great joy found in paying down a debt you owe, but there are also the ever present Smith’s, and their besties, the Jones’ – aka, the modern day wants:

My current pain point: I want a new car like bad.

I still have a positive outlook overall on my debt management, especially in comparison to where I was a couple of years ago; however, here lately, it has been really hard to keep driving my Honda. And when I say 'I want a new car like bad', I do indeed mean somewhat used. I have had the same Honda since I was 16, so after driving it for 12 years, I am REAL ready for something different. It has relatively low miles (150K) so I know this thing will last me another year or two, but I just want to trade her in like pronto.

On the contrary, I read a chapter out of 'Total Money Makeover' the other night and there was a line in there that struck a chord. It said something to the effect of how Dave passionately believes that he and his wife were able to win with money due to their willingness to drive old beater cars in the beginning of their makeover. I know this is true because I am projecting to be completely debt free in about 18 or 19 months; again, completely debt free!! However, if I cave and get a new car now, I will most definitely be looking at 30+ months before I would be debt free. That’s 10 or more months of having to stay in the same job that I am not super fond of, that’s 10 more months of ‘edge living’ by delaying the start of a fully funded emergency fund, and the list goes on.

Help reassure this wordy birdy that I can indeed put on my mature pants and WAIT a while before I go purchasing something I know I cannot afford yet. I need not to finance another thing, even if the payments would be completely doable and relatively low. Amen? Amen! 

Adjusting the Sails (Living with Intention)

Moving forward, I am going to aim at an overall tone of positivity for this blog as well as its accompanying Twitter account. Instead of pointing my finger at ole’ Aunt Sallie, I will try and point my finger towards meaningful things that bring hope and have a chance at making an impact in the lives of those who read this blog.

Make no mistake, I am not agreeing that the repayment system is no longer unfair and stepping down from the fight; that is not the case. However, now that I myself am out of the deep waters and can begin to see land, I will lock in my line of sight straight towards home. Straight towards home INTENTIONALLY and with a POSITIVE attitude by my side. Looking back to where I was, I think I found great comfort in searching for and joining the online team of ‘Sallie Mae haters’; there was a common level of understanding within that community. I think what I really needed to know, aside from the fact that there were other people aboard, was that intentional living and positive motivation on a constant basis would be the extra power that would steer my boat safely towards shore.

It is easy to have hate in your heart. It is easy to point the blame. It is easy to get overwhelmed. You have to decide to make the switch into beast mode and challenge the peanut butter and ramen noodles out of yourself. And beast mode is indeed what it takes. Thankfully, I have found the Dave Ramsey theory to be very relatable, and that is the reason I have stuck with it; you may not find any hope or inspiration in his words, and if that is the case, I encourage you to seek out other financial advisers/approaches until you find one that motivates you.

My hope is that this blog can now serve a community of people who have chosen to live an intentional life of positivity all for the purpose of getting their boat to shore. I for one know that I was completely fed up with sitting out in the middle of the ocean with a bunch of other motionless boats just waiting in anticipation for the next storm. Something clicked and I realized I had to be the captain of my own boat and do something DIFFERENT if I had any chance of getting to shore. My love for those still remaining motionless out in the ocean runs deep; to them I send out this blog as an SOS received in hopes that they too can implement the necessary steps to have their compasses point them home.  

I don't plan to delete any of my previous postings as it helps for me to read about my darkest days so that I have a reminder of just how far I have come. I know this struggle has made me a stronger and much wiser person. Believe me when I say I am not to shore yet, (I still need about 40K more to get me there) but the fact that I can see land is something I will never take for granted. Since intentionally staying focused and trying my best to think in a positive manner has gotten me this far, I am going to stick with it. My hope is that you do as well; because when you do, that also helps me to do the same. Together we can get to shore; besides, what fun is it going to be if I get to shore and am the only survivor?

Stay positive. WE GOT THIS.

"It's not only moving that creates new starting points. Sometimes all it takes is a subtle shift in perspective, an opening of the mind, an intentional pause and reset, or a new route to start to see new options and new possibilities."
― Kristin Armstrong

“Impact is never about knowing all the steps ahead, but about taking one intentional step after the other.” 
― Bidemi Mark-Mordi

“Empowerment is the intentional absence of negativity.” 
― Stephanie Lennox 

The 'Why Me' Heebie Jeebies

I went to a friend’s condo recently, and her place reminded me of my other friend’s condo, which is similar in the luxury department.

Both girls are my age.

Both girls do not have roommates.

Both girls have a nice car.

Both girls do not have any student loans.

Both girls have ‘normal’ jobs.

Both girls seem to think they are just great with money, but what both girls don’t realize is that…

both girls have fairly well off parents that are able to help them out :) Not trying to dish out any insults to those whose folks are blessed and willing to help them, i'm just saying. 

Everyone starts out somewhere, right?! At least I’ll be a stronger/wiser person after all of this repayment - or so they tell me.

This here, readers, is what I would like to call envy. And I’ve made up a new move in the face of said envy. Ready for it?

It’s called, ‘The Breathe & Pray.’ You take a deep breath, you say a quick prayer of thanks for what you do have, and you move your self-pity party on down the road in your Honda :)

Comparison is the thief of joy, folks!

Snowball (since it’s winter and all)

Unfortunately, as this is my ‘I’m all grown up now’ blog, I am not talking about a literal snowball, but rather Dave Ramsey’s theory on paying off debt. And let me tell you, it works. It is a realistic, hands-on approach with a surprisingly fast turn-around time in regards to results. A positive attitude can take you far, and for a while that is all I (somewhat) had, but there comes a point when you realize all of your rainbows and butterflies are about to get repossessed.

It is around this point of realization that you begin to accept the fact that a change needs to be made. Making the minimum payment amount each month on an enormous pile of loans, especially when the minimum payment is being applied to interest only, will get you nowhere fast. Excuse me, it will get you somewhere – into more debt. I now understand why Sallie Mae welcomes ‘Interest only’ payment plans with open arms to new graduates as it significantly increases their revenue. Allow me to demonstrate:

I borrowed (in 2007-2008) = $68,545.00
I owe (as of March 2013) = $78,950.18

For those of you without a calculator handy, that’s a $10,405.18 INCREASE of debt in a matter of approximately 5 years.
I have PAID out of pocket (starting in December of 2009 – March of 2013) = $22,510.32
Amount of $22,510.32 that went towards my private loan principal = $0
Amount of $22,501.32 that went to my federal loan principal = $875.85

In summary (5 years):
Sallie Mae gets = $32,039.65
Jessica gets = $875.85

Nauseating.

This seemingly unethical situation is indeed legal and is WAY too common than I care to realize. It looks as if my rainbows and butterflies will not have any friends to play with here soon if people in my similar situation do not make the proper financial adjustments. I created this blog not only as an outlet for myself, but as a publicly visible flashing bright neon warning sign to all parents/students out there to read before entering down the same road I did. Why travel for 20 to 25 years down a bumpy gravel road when you have the option of a shorter, smooth paved one?

I could write pages upon pages on how much I detest the above situation and how many hours of hard work it took and how much I had to sacrifice in order to be able to pay Sallie Mae the bare minimum each month. And I have pretty much done just that in my prior posts, but as I stated in the beginning, maintaining a positive attitude surrounding a situation you loathe can only get you so far. In reality, it is little ole’ you against a beast that gains size and momentum at a daily rate. You shrink smaller and smaller as its monstrous shadow alone expands over you until you eventually shrivel up and freeze to death. Like literally, your mind fast forwards and you visualize yourself as an educated homeless person freezing under an overpass, huddled up in your cardboard box waving a ripped white T-shirt as your surrender flag. Okay, I know that was a tad dramatic, but I would be lying if I said my mind never went there for a split second. I mean, cardboard box/parent’s house, potato/potato :) Only joking mom & dad, but once you calm the hate in your heart and decide you want to survive and fight for the lifestyle you went to school for, what once seemed like an impossible solution, starts to seem possible. A sort of survival instinct kicks in when you take your blinders off and stare your debt in the face.


My baby snowball:
My total monthly expenses: $1,625.00
My total currently in savings: $5,000.00

I should have approximately $600 to put into my savings account every month. In a year, I can save $7,200. This does not include the money I will get from work bonuses or tax returns. Also, my income is somewhat variable as my second job is waitressing so I have more of an earning potential than just the minimum I factor into my monthly income number. That in combination with time and a half for overtime at my day job, I can again increase my monthly income. If I really stay focused and put every dollar I can into savings, I can start to make a dent or two. On the flip side, I will have things happen that will increase my monthly expenses such as doctor appointments, dentist appointments, car trouble, ect.

My rules:

-          I will not let unexpected expenses get me off track as it is not failure on my part for not contributing the entire $600 each month; I can make up for what I lost by saving more than $600 some months.

-          I will never let my savings account fall below $1,000.

-          I will not use my credit cards without paying off the entire balance each month. 

My car and credit cards are paid off, and I rent my house so I aimed at the lowest dollar amount private loan (debt) to tackle first - $12,400.00. In order to get my monthly payment on that loan down a little, and to avoid having what is a mountain of money (to me) just sitting in my savings account, I plan to put money down on the loan in increments of $4,000. It will be a tight rope, but little by little I should be able to get my debt down to somewhat level with my income. I made this plan in March.

It is now December 30^th and I am happy to report I have paid off my $12,400.00 loan in a shorter time span than expected! I did have dentist, doctor and car bills pop up, but I picked up extra shifts at work and stayed late some nights at my day job in order to get overtime pay. My best friend moved out of state in May so that helped cut out dinner, movie & going out expenses. It took 9 months, and was very painful to watch chucks of 4 grand be handed over to Sallie Mae; but I knew if I didn't start this now, it would hurt much more in the long run. I will continue to practice this method as it is the only thing I have done thus far that has produced actual results.

1 down, 5 to go.